Are We Emotionally Disconnected?

Hurt, Loss, grief or betrayal …..I am sure we have all experienced these emotions at some point.  A recent discussion made me contemplate the following question “In this modern day and age, has our lack of ability for emotional resilience caused us to become emotionally unavailable and disconnected?

Recently single after a long term relationship, I now find myself feeling a little obsolete…Am I the only one craving for real human connection and intimacy? Well I know this seems like a ridiculous thought and I am no expert, but after my exposure with online dating and a period of building new friendships and relationships, my experience can be summed up by one of my favourite quotes by John Green “People were created to be loved, Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in Chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used.”  

I feel we have started to idolise and love material things, we aspire to attain material gain and feel gratified once we buy something that we that we have wanted or desired, the thing is that objects have no emotions and once we have tired of them, we discard them and aspire to obtain the next best thing to satisfy our need for gratification, to me this is superficial and short lived as humans we innately crave to feel connected and loved and an object cannot provide this to us, it can make us feel elated for a short while, but then we find ourselves feeling incomplete and empty again – looking for the next best thing.

We have then transpired this need for instant gratification in the way we connect with people and I liken to using people like eating a chocolate bar, We see a shiny wrapper, we desire and crave the need to satisfy our hunger and need for chocolate, we buy the shiny packet, open the pretty packaging, devour the chocolate and discard the wrapper, we are satisfied but the emotional nourishment is as good as the nutritional value of chocolate, it leaves us feeling empty and hungry again.

The reason we have become this way is the ease to use and discard is at the our fingertips, with the myriad of apps which treat human connection like a revolving door, Why invest when you can swipe right or left? And why commit as who knows if you can get someone better? And what if you miss out on the next best thing?

Some are addicted to thrill of the chase and treat this process like a conquest. Once satisfied, they bore and need another challenge. Others I have encountered are emotionally scarred after being hurt, mistreated, used and discarded by this cycle after being open, loving, giving and vulnerable, that they become the victim of an emotionally shutdown person and then become the same and the cycle of human disconnection continues with “hurt people, hurting people”

I want you think of the simplicity of human connection and emotion in an innate sense, a mother lovingly wraps its arms around a child in an act of love, the mother’s heartbeat and scent is soothing to the child and this is done without words, just done by feeling and intuition. Do your interactions make you feel this level of love and connection? After all that is said and done after years of this cycle, when your looks fade, will your soul be nourished? Something to consider…..what will you prioritise?