You may be thinking what is Toxic Positivity? Toxic Positivity is defined as an obsession with positive thinking. It is the belief that people should put a positive spin on all experiences, even those that are profoundly tragic. It is the overgeneralisation of a happy, optimistic state that results in the denial, minimisation and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.
I am a firm believer in positive mind-set at it has assisted me to get through adverse situations in life by focussing on the “the light at the end of tunnel” the focus on the positive helped me to achieve or to get through to the end of a situation, however I certainly believe that Toxic Positivity is becoming an increasing issue and have been guilty of this myself in the past.
Why can this be an issue? Toxic Positivity may encourage individuals to ignore difficult emotions by constantly remaining positive, this stops them from actually dealing with their emotions, some Signs of this can include:
- Feeling you need to hide or mask your true feelings.
- Thinking that you need to “Just get on with it” by stifling and dismissing emotions.
- Felling guilty for the way you feel and trying to convince yourself otherwise.
- Minimizing other people’s experiences with “feel good” quotes or statements like “get over it!”
- Trying to give someone perspective with statements like “It could be worse!” instead of validating their emotional experience.
- Brushing off things that are bothering you with statements like “It is what it Is”
The issue with some of the above examples is that they may promote the dismissal or not promote the processing of emotion. You may not be allowing yourself to feel or purge the emotions rather you may be suppressing your emotion and try to convince yourself otherwise by trying to “remain positive”.
It is my experience that generally when feelings come up like anger, fear, loss or grief that these are coming up because they are triggering or bringing up deeper emotions within you that need to be addressed, healed or expressed and trying to just simply brush over them is not promoting healthy venting or processing of emotion. I feel it is best to promote an environment with those who are close to you to allow yourself or them to feel safe to express feelings and emotions safely and without judgement.
The Below table shows some common examples of statements which may be examples of Toxic Positivity and suggested Alternate phrases to consider to promote healthy expression, validation and empathy of emotion:
Encouraging healthy emotional intelligence is being conscious of ourselves and being aware of how we are showing up in the world. We are not all perfect, hopefully the above assists you to become a little more self-aware and improve your personal relationships with those around you.
Many blessings Xx
Sources:
thepsychologygroup.com
healthline.com
Medicalnewstoday.com
