I often ponder how much overthinking and the need to be “in control” kills wonder, joy and contentment in life.
Recently, I had a situation that stirred feelings of excitement and elation in me, for one brief moment I felt like I was living a dream and on a cloud, in the first instance I felt a rush of “Wow, is this really, real?” and then my “reality check” persona came out to play with thoughts like, “don’t get to carried away?”, “as if things like this happen to you?”, “What is it that you are not seeing?”, the fact I didn’t know the outcome of where something was going or that I could not logically understand the full motives of the other person involved stirred insecurities within me and began a chain reaction and cycle of control and self-sabotage.
I came across “The Self Sabotage Formula” by Life Coach Kailo, I immediately resonated with it as it highlighted patterns of defensive behaviours which I had created or learnt, to control fear, hurt, guilt and shame, It also made me see that at my core I didn’t actually believe I was worthy of prosperity or love. I especially loved that it described the thoughts you have and how you think you should act or appear.
For me the biggest factor in repeating my pattern and cycles was control and fear, the fear of getting hurt and appearing weak, vulnerable and defenceless. What helped me break through my cycle was forgiveness. Forgiving myself for not knowing better, for hurting or being hurt and coming to a place of peace and acceptance allowed me to release that anger and resentment and stop carrying it with me like unwanted baggage, through life and into new friendships and relationships.
Ultimately you are the only one who can take accountability for yourself and your actions and truthfully question yourself objectively “Is how you are handling situations in your life actually in alignment with what you are seeking?” for example, do you crave deep love and intimacy, but fear it so much that as soon as anyone comes close, you shut down, question everything, push them away or don’t allow anyone in because it happened to you before and it may happen again? This is an example of a pattern you are repeating which is not in resonance with what you actually want or are seeking.
Be honest with yourself, your behaviour and don’t be afraid to change and face your fear and unlock yourself from the chains you believe are protecting you but are actually holding you captive.
Many Blessings Xx
